Jai Shree Ganesh
Read all the newspaper and news channel news at single place..
Posted by seepey_141_The blog CreatoR Labels: Expressions
One day, a young boy asked his mom.
"Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman" she told him.
"I dont understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's okay."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mom seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry finally, he put in a call to God.
When God got back to him, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?''
God answered, "When I made women, I decided she had to be special.
1.I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet her arms gentle enough to give comfort.
2.I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come, even from her own children.
3.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue, without complaining.
4.I gave her sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her badly. She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fear.
5.I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults, and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
6.I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife but some times tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed, It is her's to use whenever needed and is her only weakness."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
"When you see her cry, tell her how much u love her and all she does for everyone. And even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good."
"She is special!"
Brilliant, isn't it?And finally,
WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH...... FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK : ( and youwould find out the same ..!!!! )
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and Iwrote'click'."
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,can you see the 'OK' Button
displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____# ###
7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support :
A professor at an IIM was explaining marketing concepts:
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I amvery rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at yousays: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising.
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get hertelephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.Marry me." - That's Telemarketing.
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straightenyour tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That'sPublic Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry me?" - That's Brand Recognition.
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I amvery rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That'sCustomer Feedback.
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I amvery rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That'sdemand and supply gap.
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will youmarryme?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share.
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before yousay: "I'm rich Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.
As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey , would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
" Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way , it's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and
The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....
TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL ........
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT JOB..
Posted by seepey_141_The blog CreatoR Labels: ExpressionsPut about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks ,Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks ,Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order,
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other,Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping, Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces,Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle,Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved ,
Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day,Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window,Put them in strategic planning.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved ,Congratulate them and put them in top management.
And then last but not least,
How do you stack up in the above.
where do u c yourself ?????
No one has ever challenged it except Prof. P. N. Oak, who believes the whole world has been duped.
In his book Taj Mahal: The True Story, Oak says the Taj Mahal is not Queen Mumtaz's tomb but an ancient Hindu temple palace of Lord Shiva (then known as Tejo Mahalaya ) .
In the course of his research Oak discovered that the Shiva temple palace was usurped by Shah Jahan from then Maharaja of Jaipur, Jai Singh. In his own court chronicle, Badshahnama, Shah Jahan admits that an exceptionally beautiful grand mansion in Agra was taken from Jai SIngh for Mumtaz's burial . The ex-Maharaja of Jaipur still retains in his secret collection two orders from Shah Jahan for surrendering the Taj building. Using captured temples and mansions, as a burial place for dead courtiers and royalty was a common practice among Muslim rulers.
For example, Humayun,Akbar, Etmud-ud-Daula and Safdarjung are all buried in such mansions. Oak's inquiries began with the name of Taj Mahal. He says the term " Mahal " has never been used for a building in any Muslim countries from Afghanisthan to Algeria . "The unusual explanation that the term Taj Mahal derives from Mumtaz Mahal was illogical in atleast two respects.
Firstly, her name was never Mumtaz Mahal but Mumtaz-ul-Zamani," he writes.
Secondly, one cannot omit the first three letters 'Mum' from a woman's name to derive the remainder as the name for the building."Taj Mahal, he claims, is a corrupt version of Tejo Mahalaya, or Lord Shiva's Palace . Oak also says the love story of Mumtaz and Shah Jahan is a fairy tale created by court sycophants, blundering historians and sloppy archaeologists Not a single royal chronicle of Shah Jahan's time corroborates the love story.
Furthermore, Oak cites several documents suggesting the Taj Mahal predates Shah Jahan's era, and was a temple dedicated to Shiva, worshipped by Rajputs of Agra city. For example, Prof. Marvin Miller of New York took a few samples from the riverside doorway of the Taj. Carbon dating tests revealed that the door was 300 years older than Shah Jahan. European traveler Johan Albert Mandelslo,who visited Agra in 1638 (only seven years after Mumtaz's death), describes the life of the cit y in his memoirs. But he makes no reference to the Taj Mahal being built. The writings of Peter Mundy, an English visitor to Agra within a year of Mumtaz's death, also suggest the Taj was a noteworthy building well before Shah Jahan's time.
Prof. Oak points out a number of design and architectural inconsistencies that support the belief of the Taj Mahal being a typical Hindu temple rather than a mausoleum. Many rooms in the Taj ! Mahal have remained sealed since Shah Jahan's time and are still inaccessible to the public . Oak asserts they contain a headless statue of Lord Shiva and other objects commonly used for worship rituals in Hindu temples.
Fearing political backlash, Indira Gandhi's government t ried to have Prof. Oak's book withdrawn from the bookstores, and threatened the Indian publisher of the first edition dire consequences . There is only one way to discredit or
validate Oak's research.
The current government should open the sealed rooms of the Taj Mahal under U.N. supervision, and let international experts investigate.
The interior water well
Frontal view of the Taj Mahal and dome
Close up of the dome with pinnacle
Close up of the pinnacle
Inlaid pinnacle pattern in courtyard
Red lotus at apex of the entrance
Rear view of the Taj & 22 apartments
View of sealed doors & windows in back
Typical Vedic style corridors
The Music House--a contradiction
A locked room on upper floor
marble apartment on ground floor
The OM in the flowers on the walls
Staircase that leads to the lower levels
300 foot long corridor inside apartments
One of the 22 rooms in the secret lower level
Interior of one of the 22 secret rooms
Interior of another of the locked rooms
Vedic design on ceiling of a locked room
Huge ventilator sealed shut with bricks
Secret walled door that leads to other rooms 
Secret bricked door that hides more evidence
Palace in Barhanpur where Mumtaz died
Pavilion where Mumtaz is said to be buried
REASONS WHY LIFE WITHOUT GIRLFRIEND IS COOL....
Posted by seepey_141_The blog CreatoR Labels: ExpressionsWhat is the difference between Men and Women?Have a look
Posted by seepey_141_The blog CreatoR Labels: ExpressionsMen vs. Women
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
*******
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
*******
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a
$2 item that she doesn't want.
*******
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
*******
5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and
after marriage.
*******
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
*******
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
*******
8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
*******
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.
*******
10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look
at a wedding as the ending of romance.
a) who's sleeping,
b) who woke up,
c) who is happy,
d) who's sick,
e) who's drunk,
The woman in your life...very well expressed...
Posted by seepey_141_The blog CreatoR Labels: ExpressionsThe woman in your life...very well expressed...
Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry with these
facts as well.
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as
human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary
achievements
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people
who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your
family name.
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment
and that kitchen.
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and
cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are,
maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a
cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning
just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy
at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if
she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men
at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is
willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational
jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her
some and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she
knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities
and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this...
One of the best told stories in the mail, every letter in this is felt
and expressed directly from heart....
Hats off to the person who has drafted it... Right out of a women's
heart
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He
held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only
a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped
them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote
some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would
see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to
the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came
to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked,
"Were u the one who changed my sign this morning? What did u write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what u said but in a
different way."
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day & I cannot see
it."
Do you think the first sign & the second sign were saying the same
thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first
sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they
were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that
the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story:
Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think
differently and positively. Invite the people towards good with
wisdom.
Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.
When Life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have
1000 reasons to smile.
Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the
fear.
Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery
to solve not a problem to resolve. Life is wonderful if you know how
to live
A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that
he is going to get married.
He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess
which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they chat for a while.
Later, he says,"Okay Ma,guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
" That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
The Indian mother replies, " I don't like her " ....!!!!!!!!!! ;-)
Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".
Posted by seepey_141_The blog CreatoR Labels: Expressions22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven
Zero Four)
16.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US
*A Nun asked her class to write notes to God and received these beautiful and sweet notes from their children*.
Here are some they handed in:
**********
*Dear God*:
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on
Tuesday. That was cool.
**********
Dear God:
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You
keep the ones You already have?
**********
*Dear God*:
Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own
rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.
**********
Dear God:
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
**********
*Dear God*:
I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4
people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.
**********
Dear God:
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
**********
*Dear God*:
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
**********
Dear God:
Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in
the house?
**********
*Dear God*:
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
**********
Dear God:
Who draws the lines around the countries?
**********
*Dear God*:
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?
**********
Dear God:
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You
did, then I'm going to get my brother good.
**********
*Dear God*:
Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I
prayed for was a puppy.
**********
Dear God:
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it
up.
**********
*Dear God*:
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair
all over.
**********
Dear God:
You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.
**********
*Dear God*:
I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.
**********
Dear God:
Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.
**********
*Dear God*:
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just
kidding, aren't they?
**********
Dear God:
I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.
**********
*Dear God*:
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it.
So, I bet he stole Your
idea
Tech Support Calls and customer interaction...
Posted by seepey_141_The blog CreatoR Labels: ExpressionsThese "*silly tech support calls*" have been around in e-mails and online
since the dawn of tech support.
They are always fun to read. I'm in the mood for a good laugh. *How 'bout
you?*
**********
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my
desk... Sorry....
**********
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
**********
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates.
**********
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
**********
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
**********
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
**********
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
**********
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
**********
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
**********
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
**********
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
**********
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
circle around it?
**********
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is
working fine."
**********
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
WRONG NUMBER
It was the day of my son's XII results and I was so tensed. I sat
beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no.
"Ma", he screamed in excitement," I scored 1191, with centum in 4
subjects. I cant believe it. "I kinda became numb in my excitement.
My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his ! forehead and smiled.
Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no
bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for
interviews and photos. I was so honored to join him in the snaps.
I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend to tell him the news......
I was so excited. He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years.
I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot
forget the first day he called me when I blasted him for giving me so
many wrong calls.....after that he had called up a week later asking
apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted
to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each
other's names.Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did
and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called
me 'Sweety'. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a
Computer Engineering student.
From then he used to call me very often . We almost discussed everything..
By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had
been cautious. I was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he
was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents
about it?........all these questions ran through my mind.
I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I
lied to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation. He gave
me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there.
I never called .......
A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my
parent's choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as
an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number-friend.......
My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with
him- but he was genuine indeed and never bothered my personal space.
After 2 years we had a boy...Yet,I was not very happy with my married
life...One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still &
my old friend's office phone no that he had given me. I dialed it and
spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy
for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not
marry him.
From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave
him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble...
And till today I almost shared everything with him including my
relationship with my hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.
Just then I got a call. "Your husband met with an accident and died on
the spot"I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend.....
I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly
when he was alive or moved close with him....I felt I had been a bad wife........
A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl
and said they wanted to get married. I got them married as I did not
want my son to go through what I did.
I decided to give my son his father's room and started clearing it.
There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find, " Wrong no Sweety
-26579785"
God always puts the right numbers together. Its we who interpret it
wrong!!!
